#don't talk to me about the difference between never and ever

[mangostarjam]

you've been touching him a lot since he got back.

itoshi sae doesn't do anything about it — doesn't dissuade you from tugging at his sleeve or sliding his jacket zipper back and forth while you talk. doesn't comment or bring your attention to it.

but he watches.

you've been around him a lot since his plane landed, making up for all the time he's spent abroad, as if your daily chat threads haven't been enough. most of the time it's just the two of you, the way it used to be. sometimes his brother is around, though thankfully it doesn't seem like you've gotten any closer to rin since sae left.

other times there's a group, mostly your friends, a mix of guys and girls who don't seem to know what to do with themselves around him. sae is used to this — fame brings strange things to light — but you treat him as you always have, except for the touching.

you don't touch anyone else.

it makes him think.

sae has his reasons. he's never let your relationship get past that line, drawn in the sand. he's a professional football player on the other side of the world, and you have a life here. you have friends (even though you still call him your best friend), you have a job (that you complain about all the time), you have family (that can't be bothered to ever congratulate you on anything).

it wouldn't be right — to make you leave. to take you away. not when he needs to focus on being the best in the world.

(he is the best in the world. all those years ago he showed the U-20 team in japan the difference between them, the way the most they could hope for was dating a gravure model. sae never cared about that aspect. he already had you.)

he lets you touch him, but he doesn't touch you back. he keeps you at arm's length — where you're safe.

and then you ask him to be your wingman.

someone else — touching you? kissing you? having you? unthinkable. sae steps out of the shower and barely dries off before pulling on his briefs and pants. steps into his room and there you are, sitting on his bed, looking good, if a little sad.

he considers telling you to get your passport updated and catches the way your eyes trail down his form. maybe this conversation would be easier if he's wearing a shirt — your gaze is too heated, too distracting. you probably think you're being sneaky, hiding your feelings as best as you can, but sae knows you.

and your casual touches are ocean waves washing that line in the sand away.

sae walks towards his closet when it happens again. your finger in his belt loop, stopping him in his tracks. "what?"

"you were ignoring me," you say. "i asked if my outfit is okay."

your outfit is more than okay. "i would have told you to change if it wasn't."

"if you're going to be my wingman, shouldn't you hype me up?" you huff.

sae feels his jaw clench at the reminder. "no," he says, and his tone comes out cold. you don't seem to notice, falling back on his bed and testing every bit of self control in his grasp. "this is a waste of time."

he goes to pull on a shirt before he does something drastic. you're saying something, but it hardly matters when his flight leaves if you'll be on the plane with him. you've covered your eyes with your forearm, so you miss the way he pauses at the foot of the bed, teal eyes drinking in your form splayed out so defenselessly.

sae climbs over you silently, knees nudging yours apart, hands planted on either side of your body. "this is a waste of time," he repeats, watching with amusement as you take in his position. a blush sweeps across your face, but you don't push him off. that's a good sign, at least.

"what, you think i'm not worth being a wingman for?" you ask. silly. you have no idea.

and then you reach for his belt loops again, as if that's a totally normal thing to do and not something that drives him a little nuts every time. sae prides himself on his control, though, so he doesn't lean down to kiss you just yet.

"tell me," sae says, "have you become this touchy with all your friends since i've been gone?"

"n-no?"

it's cute, how wide your eyes get. sae leans down a little closer. feels your breaths on his lips. still doesn't kiss you — yet. "then i won't be your wingman. you don't need one."

"why not?"

do you know how breathless you sound? sae considers his apartment in spain, how he'll need to make sure the bedroom doesn't share any walls with the neighbors. the way you sound is all for him and him alone.

"because you have a boyfriend, now."

(companion piece to this)

[coldjustness]

@pactheld

obligatory cuddle drawing bc I’m still obsessed with Neve and her long-suffering frenemyship situationship with Knight-Templar Rana Savas in Tevinter Nights

[shatcey]

Mirror event (Victor)

Now it becomes clear why Vivi looks so much like hemself in this story. Because it wasn't a dream…

I look at this men standing next to each other, and think… I… belong there. Literally. Right there, between them. I've never felt like I belong to any place, perhaps because I really need to be there.

Okay...

And now Vivi's thoughts. As always, they made my brain explode a bit.

He was ready to kill her if something went wrong, because his children are at the top of his list of priorities (after the queen, of course), but… He still wants her to stay. I'm surprised… Is this a contradiction? Or does he just want to add another seed to his garden of children? Or… she is any different?

This… It's terribly sad. Does this mean that no one will ever want to take care of him? Maybe were afraid to do it? Didn't think of him as a person? It's become a painful topic for me lately… Could it be related to his abilities? Or his status? He is a man who stands firmly on his feet, who achieves a lot, who is the second person in the country. Maybe… No, I'm probably imagining…

Victor often talks about light and darkness. What if it's not just a metaphor… What if he really can see the color of the soul? He's a grim reaper after all. What would make so much sense… He can tell who deserves to die and who deserves to be saved. This makes him the same judge as William.

Sure… Victor drops such a bomb… I'm not even surprised. Bound… He's bound… trapped… restricted. Maybe he just phrased it that way, after all, they all have a grim fate. But… What if it's literal? What if… his fate not allow him to get to close to people? I don't like where this thought leads me to…

You're breaking my heart! Why??? What can't he do? Follow his desires? Or… being too close to someone? He doesn't allow himself to do this because he had some experience in the past… What was that? What happens to the other person? Why did he decide never to do it again? I have… so many questions.

No, don't you dare say that was the last time! I'm going to punch you, painfully….... on the shoulder. You look like a teddy bear, and I love hugs! You got the point, right?

Why is it in quotes? Who told you that? This person was lying! They can, and they will come true. Ally is proof of that. He didn't dream, but his dreams came true. Don't ask me how this is possible! It defies logic…

So… It was a very short story, but it managed to give me a headache. I'm… not surprised at all.

Now I'm curious to know what was in the other stories. I remember reading Ellis' story a year ago, and in the end he killed her. So… It was definitely a dream! If so… how can we read the story from his POV???

Don't tell me… Ally, don't let these guys exploit your abilities!!!! You are not a tool! I'll really going to punch Victor if that's the case.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

🔝 𝕊𝕋𝔸ℝ𝕋 ℙ𝔸𝔾𝔼 🔝

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[genderqueerdykes]

this is prob silly but i appreciate you being so candid about not interacting with much media (like film/tv/pop culture stuff). it's kind of hard to be on tumblr or really even exist if you're not able to interact with media but it's a big trigger for me so i just... can't. like, i've never had anyone understand that it's not a choice i'm making to be special/different/lazy i just have extreme and unhealthly reactions to most media, except some books and comics. which idk if that's how it is for you (its not my business or anything) but i've never felt seen/represented about it before so im thankful, yk?

i appreciate you for sending this! i don't find it silly at all

i think it's very good for you to acknowledge that you have an unhealthy relationship with most forms of media. i'm sorry that you're going through this, but consuming media is not a requirement nor is it something that you genuinely need for your mental health, so it's okay that that's how you feel. i appreciate this because it gives me a chance to talk about something that is important to me, but people struggle to understand why that is

my parents used to make fun of whatever i was watching or playing as a kid over my shoulder. i used to get relentlessly mocked every time i put on a show i liked or played a game in front of either of them. it caused me to have severe trauma for years where i couldn't watch or play anything around other people at all. i still don't like when people ask me to put on things that i do like for a big group. the stress i feel when other people don't enjoy it is not worth it. i'm still very uncomfortable doing this to this day

i've felt pretty alienated all my life due to this. it seems like now more than ever, media, especially fictional media, is so important to general modern culture that it creates a barrier between people who do and don't engage. and it's not like it's a passive thing, i have people get offended at me when i say i haven't seen a movie or TV show. not talking about anyone on here, or any anons i've answered about media! people have been kind and respectful here. but in my real life and in conversations with other people, i have genuinely been mocked or insulted because i don't engage with most television, movies, books and comics.

i've had people question my autism over this. when i've told people in the past that i do not engage with pop culture, fictional media and so on, i've had people actually say "but i thought you were autistic????" like it's genuinely frustrating that it seems like people have shifted to thinking that autistic people's special interests are always cartoons, games and TV shows. it worries me because at times it feels like people are turning the common definition of autism into Media Consumption Disorder. my special interests are queer history & culture, animals & nature, and medicine & psychology. i genuinely enjoy research, it's something i happily do for hours because it stimulates my brain and motivates me. it excites me just as much as i think fiction excites people who can enjoy it. it's more than okay for autistic people to have a piece of media as their special interest, i'm not saying that its not! but it frightens me that people seem to conflate "autistic" with "loves fictional media".

due to my DID, i can't remember plots. like at all. plots confuse the ever loving hell out of me because i can't keep track of what's going on. real life doesn't have a plot. science doesn't have a plot. i don't know if fully understand the point of a plot, honestly. expecting people to be able to remember such an absurd amount of information in order to figure out something that happens down the road or at the very end feels like a herculean task to me. i can't remember what happened to me 10 minutes ago, there's no way i'm remembering a tiny event that happened hours and hours and hours ago. scripted interactions feel so stiff and unnatural to me

people tell me i'm saying i don't know what they're talking about to "be an asshole". i used to have a best friend who got really into dungeons&dragons and it traumatized me for years because i got into at first, then quickly lost interest once i realized how boring actually playing the game is for me. my friend did NOT take it well. he continued to force me to play. if i would ask him to please change the conversation topic he would start insulting and berating me and telling me that i was pretending to not be interested anymore to be mean to him. he couldn't understand that i grew out of it. he never got any better with this, as he was obsessed with marvel films and would get super pissed off if i told him i had no interest or didn't know what to say to him. it was frustrating because i didn't have a choice whether or not i could like something. it was "if you don't like this, you're an asshole."

and it's not just him that's treated me that way. it's been most of my friends. for whatever reason, when you tell the average person that you haven't seen, or god forbid don't like a piece of media, they take it personally for... some reason. as if i said "no i don't watch that because that's bad" as opposed to what i actually say is "i don't know what that is" or "i haven't seen that". you would not believe how insecure people get when you tell them you don't like a piece of media they like. i'm not sure why people feel like their favorite media is an extension of themselves, but it's an unhealthy relationship. it's not healthy to get offended if your friend tells you they haven't seen a piece of media that you have.

i have aphantasia, which is the inability to picture things in my head. i don't get "sucked into" media like people with clearer mind's eyes do. i don't picture anything cool or epic or fun happening in my head because i can't. as a result, i don't get pulled into shows, i don't get invested in tabletop games, i don't really get that affected by the media that i watch because i am painfully aware that i'm staring at a pre-recorded and scripted show the entire time. i'm painfully aware that i'm staring at an actor in a costume i just cannot get immersed in most forms of media save for very rare video games but even then, i immediately stop thinking about it the second i'm done interacting with it

i just don't listen to music and that one baffles people as i'm punk. most music is just straight up overstimulating to me due to my autism. i'm not saying that music is bad, it just overstimulates the everloving hell out of me. most of the time it just hurts my ears or gives me a headache or triggers my misophonia, which results in me getting irrationally pissed off. it's not something i can control. i prefer to listen to nature sounds, very simple meditation music that is a few simple tones, or nothing at all. i actually enjoy silence. i enjoy not overloading my ears. i enjoy being alone with my own thoughts. i can't think when there's too much noise happening

video games are more enjoyable than anything else due to the interactive element, but that does not mean i am paying attention to the characters or the story. it's very rare that a game can actually make me get interested in the characters themselves. i'm just there for the gameplay. generally i prefer games like rollercoaster tycoon, tower unite and other games that don't have a plot at all and are strictly focused on gameplay. i have no idea how people memorize all the different characters and interactions and story beats in games that have an overarching plot.

it's a personal choice. you're allowed to choose what your hobbies and interests are. if pop culture stresses you out, you do not have to engage. i just straight up do not get pop culture references at all and i've had people laugh at me for it but i just really don't care, it's not what i'm interested in as a person. i feel like a lot of people aren't quite realizing that most popular media is made for profit, not to be something genuinely well written or entertaining. i'm not saying those things are bad but what i am saying is that it's a product meant to be consumed in order for you to help a generally huge company profit. there's very little soul and whimsy when it comes to most AAA games and big box office films. the artistic integrity is severely lacking

anyway, thank you for giving me a chance to talk about this more at length! it's why i'm just very honest about it because i'm not going to force myself to change my interests because some people find how i approach life strange, or take it personally. you're allowed to choose what you interact with and don't. you're allowed to define your own interests and hobbies. and i think you're doing a great thing by acknowledging that you have an unhealthy relationship with pop culture. a LOT of people do right now. it's manufactured to be addicting on purpose. binge watching things is encouraged and is becoming seen as a new norm. i don't think people like you or i deserve to be mocked for approaching life in ways that make sense to us. take care of yourself, i appreciate you!

[talks-to-guns]

The thing that bothers me about Timebomb is that it was so half baked and such a disservice to both characters, especially Ekko.

Jinx never showed any interest in Ekko. She has like four lines to Ekko in the entire show. Their whole thing was about unrequited love on Ekko's end. So why does she suddenly like him back, and not only that, they get a whole AU episode. It's strange.

And Ekko loved Powder. Jinx, to him, was Silco's lackey. He missed the girl she used to be. He didn't love Jinx. "I had a crush. Until you started talking to the gun." And even in the scene in s2 where he saves her, he accidently calls her Powder. He didn't love the person she became, rather this idealised version from his childhood which was then further hammered in by the AU episode.

But what really bothers me most is that they just made them cool with each other as if Jinx hasn't been killing Ekko's friends. In front of him. As if Jinx hasn't tried to kill him multiple times. Really? Ekko forgives Jinx for all of that because Powder was his girlfriend in an alternate reality?

They aren't even the same person! Jinx and AU Powder are completely different characters. The writers said they didn't include the conversation between Jinx and Ekko because it would rehash ep7 and that has to be the stupidest shit I've ever heard. Jinx is nothing like Powder in the alternate reality. And her and Ekko had a completely different relationship in the real universe.

Not to mention they both thought each other dead. Or, if Ekko checked on Jinx before he left, then at least Jinx thought Ekko was dead. And what? They don't even mention it? She just accepts "yep, Ekko is still alive", all casual? I mean, I know season 2 erased basically all of Jinx's mental issues and psychosis but that's a bit much.

Not to mention the bit where she jumps instead of blowing Ekko up. I've seen people be like "awww she didn't want to kill him so she jumped instead!" Uh. She's blown him up before. She literally tried to blow them both up on the bridge in s1.

[genericpuff]

Do you have any big plans for Rekindled this year? Like specific moments/events/developments? Also, would you ever consider going back to a weekly upload schedule?

welllll as for stuff that's like, in the immediate near future, we're gonna be tackling a VERY famous scene in LO that I have some fun ideas for that will hopefully make it feel familiar but with its own twists for y'all to enjoy. Considering the current roadmap the story is on and what's been established over the past few "days" within the story, I'm sure y'all will figure out pretty quick which scene I'm talking about ;333

But in the long-term over the course of this year... I don't wanna speak too soon, but I think this is the year that we're finally gonna enter the biggest turning point of the story, so big that it literally diverts LR's plot away from the blueprint of LO and we end up in truly new territory. Granted, there are still some elements of the original LO present after that point, but what we do with those elements is entirely different. I think it's gonna parallel well, because while LO's S2 era took a massive turn away from everything it had been building up towards throughout S1, LR's "second season" will be taking a massive turn towards those setups and outcomes that were clearly abandoned (or just not thought of entirely, even the stuff that was like... plainly obvious to anyone who was paying attention lmao).

I'm hoping that after we've reached that point, the path that LR walks will feel way more satisfying for the readers like myself who felt that everything beyond S2 of LO was a complete misfire and lost potential. Again, it will hopefully feel familiar to those who remember that era of LO - but still refreshing and interesting to really drive home how this is meant to be an interpretative rewrite of what could have happened if LO hadn't gotten distracted and had actually stuck with its original plotlines and themes. I think the biggest one of those themes that was present in LO but never fully realized will be everything concerning "Persephone" herself, the Act of Wrath, and everything that led up to her moving to Olympus.

It is a little nerve-wracking, because it'll be at that turning point where I truly have to carry this story's progression for real and can't use LO quite as much to guide me through the dark, but I'm also excited because it's where I finally get to loosen a lot of the limitations that were set from the foundation of LO and really go wild with everything that I had been hoping LO would be. It's when I'll really get to write some proper payoffs to the things that I've been building up to from the foundation of the original comic as my starting point. It's where things are really gonna start to feel truly "new", at least in my opinion!

As for what that massive "turning point" is... I'm not gonna say specifically what happens, but you will absolutely know it when you'll see it. Obviously there are already a lot of differences between LR and LO in terms of the plot threads and how everything is being progressed, but this one turning point in particular is a huge one that fundamentally opposes one of the biggest flaws of LO that would define its downhill decline in its storytelling for the rest of its publication.

But for now, until we get there, I'll leave the rest up to your imagination ;3

---

As for the update schedule, I would honestly love to be able to return to the weekly schedule again, but currently my work-life balance is just not gonna allow for it :'0 For those unaware, when I'm not making Rekindled, I'm also working my day job as a contracted tattoo artist which comes with its own load of responsibilities and obligations, many of which are what I need to fulfill in order to do things like pay my rent and, y'know, not die LOL In terms of the work-life balance, even when I'm not working on Rekindled, there's still a lot of work taking up my life LMAO (including a second retail job that I've been doing a seasonal position for, though it's wrapping up at the end of the month~)

While I love making Rekindled and spend as much time as I can each week working on it (and I wish it could be like, the only thing I had to worry about LOL) it is still just a fanfiction project that I create for free, and so it just can't be at the top of my priority list, at least not without sacrifices from those other obligations - but those other obligations are, again, what I need to do in order to not only survive, but to ensure that I can afford to keep making Rekindled, even if it's at a slower pace than I would like.

That said, Rekindled is still a very high priority for me! It's just a matter of balance, and changing to a bi-weekly schedule was part of maintaining that balance. It was either that, or stick to weekly and make the episodes shorter, but I ultimately settled on the former option because it allowed for a healthier work-life balance (which is still not even super healthy but I'm working on it lmao) and because the rhythm of my writing wouldn't have worked as well in shorter doses, especially not with many of the plotlines we've been tackling as of late. It can be a drag to wait every two weeks, but it means I can bring y'all episodes that are fully realized to their full potential, rather than hacking them up into tinier portions that might not read as well and would require a drawing schedule that wouldn't fit well with my current circumstances.

All in all, while I do wish I could be back to making episodes on that weekly schedule, it's really only because I would love to bring you all more of the story more often, because there's a lot that I'm really excited to show you all! But the bi-weekly schedule is currently more viable for both myself, Banshriek, and the comic as a whole, because it means we get the time we really need to make every episode feel special with every update <3

[arvlelt]

505

pairing - vi x fem!reader

cw - inspired by 505 from arctic monkeys, angst, hurt/no comfort, modern!au, both of them smoke, oblivious vi, reader is a little ho fair warning, one-sided pining, etc.

summary - time and time again, seeing your name flash on her phone at 2 in the morning again — she should’ve known it wasn’t going to end differently.

a/n - kinda/very short, there isn’t enough vi angst 😞 lil drabble containing my own interpretation while listening to the song and lyrics, enjoy!

vi tossed and turned, sighing in frustration as she squeezed her eyes shut in her final attempt to try and sleep.

she hadn't been able to sleep since you had suddenly cut off all contact with vi. sure, she was just a casual sex partner - and going into it you both had agreed not to get attached.

at least you did.

she remembered that day like it was yesterday. the day she agreed to keep it casual with you two - god she should’ve never said yes if it was gonna end up like this.

she couldn't help remembering everything about you. her imagination envisioning you lyin' on your side, with a hand between your thighs.

she remembers the way you used to give her a certain look while looking over her shoulder that had her confessing to you, 'well when you look at me like that, princess, what do you expect?

those were the last words she said to you before she never saw you again.

she sighed with her eyes closed, remembering how you’d let out a content sigh when she practically jumped on you, putting a hand on her forehead as she remembered the way you'd put your hands around her neck. wondering if she'd still like adore you - though she did last time she checked.

she didn't give it much time as she opened her eyes with a groan. she got up and didn’t shy away from the spark of her lighter as she lit up a joint in hopes of it aiding her to sleep.

suddenly her phone rang.

vi hummed to the beat in the car on the way to your house.

she knew better than to get excited to see you, to get attached to you, but she couldn't stop the way her body was beginning to feel all jittery from the nerves.

she gets a knife twisting feeling at the thought that she shouldn’t fall short of the mark -- meaning she shouldn't expect anything more and anything less.

she’s frightened slightly, hoping you don’t have much bite and more bark — hoping you try and talk with her and don’t just have her over for sex.

maybe she'd be a fool to think otherwise, but she had a soft spot for you. she'd drop anything she was doing to go and help you with whatever you needed.

she shook her head as she got off the highway, trying to think off better things in the middle of adventure of hers.

you had called her late at night again, crying.

and she crumbles completely when you cry.

though she's hoping this time you don't greet her with a goodbye and inevitably turn her away because of regret.

if she wasn't dreaming again, she was sure to not take her hands off your eyes too soon.

she just wanted to go back to how it was before, she was hoping she could convince you to let her into your life again, even if it was just for sex.

vi's throat felt dry and her hands were trembling as she opened the door to your house, looking around and not seeing any sign of you.

you had given her a spare key when you two were closer, she didn't think she was gonna have any use for it ever again.

she shut the door quietly, swallowing hard as she made her way to your bedroom - the sound of her shoes moving along your floor deafening to her.

it was too quiet.

and she was hoping it wasn't the reason she thought.

oh but remember, she'd be fool to think otherwise.

she creaked your door open as it was open slightly and it wasn't shut all the way - she could make out your form on the mattress.

and just like she had dreamt and predicated, your back was facing her and --

you were lyin' on your side, with your arms between your thighs and a smile.

[stylesluxx]

all of the girls you loved before – a. hotchner

[warnings: none]

summary: in which y/n is grateful for aaron's experiences – inspired by all of the girls you loved before by taylor swift

word count: 773

main masterlist

You've heard the stories before, the whispered mentions of the women that had come before you. Each one left a mark on him, a trace you sometimes wondered if you could see in the way he moved, the way he held you when you felt his steady hands against your back. Aaron Hotchner didn't often talk about them, but in the quiet moments, their presence lingered like a ghost in the room, a history you couldn't touch but could feel.

It wasn't jealousy, exactly. It was more the weight of knowing you weren't his first love, that he had lived entire lifetimes before you. Maybe you'd catch him staring off into the distance, his jaw tight as memories flickered across his face. You never pried, though the questions sometimes bubbled at the back of your throat. He would have told you if he wanted to, you reminded yourself.

But tonight was different. Tonight, something between you shifted.

You were sitting together on the porch, the soft hum of autumn night air around you, the distant sounds of traffic on the street below a low murmur. The team was away on a case, but for once, he wasn't. He had stayed behind, citing exhaustion, though you knew it wasn't just about fatigue. He needed time. Space. And you were here for him, silently offering the support he rarely let himself ask for.

Aaron sipped his drink, his fingers grazing the glass as he looked out into the darkened sky. You followed his gaze, wondering where his mind had drifted this time. His silence wasn't unusual, but there was a tension tonight that made the air between you feel thicker than usual. Finally, he spoke, his voice soft, like he wasn't sure he was ready for the words.

"I don't think I've ever told you about Haley."

His ex-wife. You'd heard her name before, of course, but he rarely mentioned her. Even now, years after her death, the grief still hung in his eyes when he did. You turned slightly, giving him your full attention, heart tightening as you prepared yourself for whatever he needed to say.

"She was... everything to me. For a long time." He let out a breath, his thumb tracing the rim of his glass. "And when I lost her, I didn't think I could feel that way again. About anyone."

You didn't speak, just listened, knowing this wasn't something you could fix. This was something he had to let out, piece by piece.

"I wasn't looking for this, for us." His eyes met yours, and for a moment, the world stopped turning. "But somehow, you're here."

He shifted, setting his drink aside and taking your hand in his. His fingers were warm against yours, grounding you as his gaze softened, the weight of years of pain and love swirling in his eyes.

"I used to think the past would always have this hold on me, that I'd never be able to let go of all the girls I loved before. But then I realized... they led me here. To you."

Your breath caught, the weight of his words pressing into your chest. You didn't need him to explain further. You knew what he meant—that every love, every loss, every heartbreak had shaped him into the man sitting beside you. And somehow, through all of it, he had found his way to you.

He squeezed your hand, a silent reassurance that he was here, with you, now.

"I don't regret any of it," he continued, his voice quieter now. "Because without it, I wouldn't have you. And that's something I wouldn't trade for anything."

The tears welled in your eyes before you could stop them, the emotion of his confession wrapping around your heart. You'd always known there was a part of him that would forever belong to the past, to Haley, to the life he had before. But now, hearing him say it, you realized it wasn't about competing with those memories. It was about understanding that you were part of his story now, a chapter he hadn't expected but cherished all the same.

You leaned in, resting your head on his shoulder as he pulled you closer, the unspoken understanding settling between you. There was no need for more words, not tonight. You both knew that love wasn't about erasing the past—it was about accepting it, embracing it, and realizing that every step along the way had led to this moment.

And in that moment, you realized something too.

You were glad for all the girls he loved before, because without them, without everything he had been through, you might never have found your way to him.

And now that you had, you weren't going to let go.

[AN: oh hey... I think I'm going to do febuwhump to get out of my writing slump. I'll keep you guys updated. I also have a ko-fi account now??? no pressure but it's link in my navigation and here! and of course... my taglist. lmk your thoughts. love you byeee]

[11queensupreme11]

So…kinda depressing ask but Demeter’s recent death kind of had me wondering, especially since you mentioned in an ask once LONG ago—so long ago that’s it’s to the point I can’t even find it anymore 😭—that Poseidon wouldn’t kill his siblings just severely mutilate them.

((I’m assuming u totally ditched that when it came to Demeter’s death—which is totally fine cause either way it flows well with ur story and ur description of Poseidon because if Demeter is permanently dead it checks out because she took something from Poseidon that he would never forgive and he would see that as a betrayal which would, in his mind, justify the killing. And if she is still alive (although I don’t see how that could be possible- how can u stay alive when you’ve been…ripped apart 😭😂😅) but living like Adamas then that’s also possible since she is his sister and he’s spared his siblings before (adamas) after mutilating them of course.))

All that to say, it got me wondering. Could and/or would Poseidon or any of the other yans, if they ever became like SUPER (astronomical levels, really) upset with Percy. Result to…killing her? Could they?

yeah demeter is permanently dead, no coming back at all. no revival, no reincarnation, etc. i'm pretty much going the canon route on how deaths are handled! so in ror, when gods die they go to niflhel! same goes with the human souls in the after life (and by that, i mean, after dying in midgar, if they die again in helheim/valhalla, they go to niflhel)

in the ror wiki:

HOWEVER!!! the only difference is that in my fic, gods don't have souls. instead, they're made of divine essence. so for the sake of my fic, when a god dies, their divine essence is destroyed

so yeah, no coming back for demeter or zagreus 😅

as for ur other question.......

the yans absolutely CAN kill percy. ror characters are ridiculously op in terms of physicality, especially the gods cuz i gave them a huge buff. do you guys recall those brief lines i'd type up throughout previous chapters that are always something like "he gripped her arm so hard had it not been for the Curse of Achilles he would've snapped her bones" and stuff like that? yeah i was being fr, these gods can easily crush her to death on ACCIDENT 💀 it's the whole reason i set the story in-between pjo and hoo so she would still have the achilles curse! they're gods who don't interact with humans, they don't know how to be gentle 😭 even a high five could've ripped her hand off or shatter her lmaooo

as for cú chulainn, he's in the same boat (in terms of physicality). since i'm not going with canon (cuz it was too late for me lol), cú chulainn will be the "human with the strength of a god" kind of demigod, like what heracles was pre-ascension. so since he has the strength of a god, he could ALSO kill percy, HOWEVER. unlike the gods, he knows how to actually be careful so he has a lesser chance of actually killing her. the only issue is his ridiculously op gáe bulg which is canonically stated can't be "dodged nor guarded against". if ra and morrigan weren't fast or strong enough to dodge it, there's no damn way percy can 💀 again, the curse of achilles will save her here AS LONG AS SHE KEEPS HER FRONT FACING TOWARDS THE SPIKES. if she has her back to it..... 💀💀💀💀 but i can't see a scenario where he'll ever be so mad he uses that weapon on her.

also there's his freaky 👹goblin mode👹 thing i forgot to mention, but that hasn't been talked about in the manga yet and so far, from the myths, it just makes him more stronger and uncontrollable. if he were to get angry and get into ríastrad then yes, she'll be in a lot of danger 💀

so yes. the yans absolutely CAN kill her, but they won't ever be angry enough to actually want to murder her (excluding beelie's demonic destrudo ofc). the most likely scenario is that they accidentally kill her in a fit of rage. the gods have a higher chance of doing this, cuz they can literally just obliterate her or smite her without needing to even think that much.

[occasional-yan-stuff]

He was always there. Every time you went back, he was always there. You don't know what kept pulling you back to that abandoned old house down the road. Maybe it was the mystery of the place that enchanted you, maybe it was the strange beauty of all the old, worn-out surfaces, or maybe you just couldn't stand to abandon him.

The kids in your neighborhood said the house was haunted, but that couldn't have been right, could it? You were old enough to know that ghosts weren't real, and yet... he was always there. Always sitting at the grand piano in the ball room in that exact same position, always acting as though he hadn't seen you in years whether you'd only been gone for a few months or even just a few minutes.

"I thought I would never see you again!" flinging his arms around your neck with the exact same intonation every time, but ghosts weren't real. You knew ghosts weren't real.

Sometimes you'd catch him staring at a rectangle on the wall that was slightly less faded than the rest of the wall paper. Around the third time you saw him doing this you finally decided to ask.

"What are you looking at?"

"This is a painting of my mother," he responded. It wasn't, of course, but you decided not to push the question.

There were also times when you'd see him blow on the golden candelabra that sat on the little table by the window. The candles were melted to stumps and never had flame in them when he did this. When he did it the first time it resulted in a cloud of dust that he didn't seem to notice, and when you asked about it he simply took your hand and said "more romantic lighting, my dear." You asked him what he meant but all he did was smile at you as the two of you started dancing.

It always ended with dancing. The world- or possibly your mind- filled up with music that you could find the source of, and he took you, and he twirled you, and the hours fell away into nothing. By the end of it he always begged you to stay with him, pleading for you to remain in his home forever. It was a cute little game between the two of you... you think.

One night you actually did try to sleep in one of the old creaky beds in the mansion, but it was far too cold and the whole thing made you itchy and uncomfortable. You checked the other bed rooms but there was no sign of him. Finally, you returned to the ball room. Even at that ungodly hour he was still there, sitting at his piano. You called out his name and he turned around in surprise. "I thought I would never see you again!" And so the cycle repeated and the two of you danced the night away.

He never seemed to like it when you talked about your friends.

"We see each other so little, my dear," he'd say with crossed arms, "can you not lend a bit more attention to me instead?" The way he pretended to be grumpy always made you chuckle. He was pretending, wasn't he?

Each time he held you, he acted like it was the last time he ever would. He took in every part of you, your smell, the feeling of your skin, everything. There had even been a few times that he had licked your neck but he always denied it when you asked. When you were just getting to know him, he would always cry when you wouldn't kiss him.

"What has changed?" he would ask, "have I done something wrong?"

"What are you talking about?" you would respond, "we've never kissed before."

"Oh, how I hate when you play this game!" was all he would say in response. Always the same intonation. Always the same expression. Always the same.

You started going back more and more, longer and longer. You always felt tired after leaving the mansion. Fatigued, like waking up from a dream. Sometimes you would return home with wrinkles you didn't remember having or a band aid you could have sworn you never put on. Scrolling through your friends' social media pages, you'd see pictures with you in them. Pictures you didn't remember being taken.

every time you went back things seemed just a bit different. The candles grew taller and taller, the wall paper more vibrant, and a painting of a woman was placed on the wall. When did that get there? Every night was just the same. You danced, you kissed, you loved. It was paradise. He was paradise.

One night, after a particularly long visit, you returned home. You hadn't wanted to but you had a life outside the mansion... didn't you? You stepped back into your home and a man was there, a man you had never met. He wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed you.

"so, how was work?"

No. This was wrong. You pushed him off of you and rushed into the bathroom. Your eyes fell onto the mirror and you clapped your hand over your mouth. The person staring back at you was near unrecognizable. It was you, sort of, but at the same time not at all. You stared down at your shaking hands. Your left had a golden ring on one of its fingers. You hadn't put that there. You hadn't put that there! This was all wrong. All so very very wrong. Tears played at the corners of your eyes as you rushed out of the house and back down the road. The mansion was the only place you felt safe anymore. The mansion was the only place you were yourself anymore. You ran and you ran all the way to the ball room. Your breath was heavy and sweat glued your hair to the ball room.

"I never thought I would see you again!"

The night played out as it always did. You danced, you kissed, you loved. Just as always, he begged you to stay. This time you said yes.

[causenessus]

present

part 0.3. HOY NO ESTARÉ

“que está pasando (what's going on) / ya no encuentro a los demás (i can't find the others anymore) te hice daño, me hiciste daño (i hurt you, you hurt me) hay un túnel largo (there is a long tunnel) y no se a donde voy (and I don't know where I'm going) / ya no tuve tiempo para decir adiós (i no longer had time to say goodbye)”

life should be about those domestic moments.

those small moments that aren’t really that small.

if you just focused on the present–what was right in front of you–nothing could be considered small. not the breaths you took continuously, one after the other, or a crosswalk sign that gives you the "go ahead" light to walk safely across a street and continue on with your day.

unfortunately, she didn’t have the luxury of enjoying those unappreciated moments.

for her, she lived to ruin others.

her job wasn’t the problem. it was the fact that she couldn't say that she was better off than those who crossed her. she ended her days coming home to a lonesome, tarnished life of her own. 

perhaps she was selfish to think she deserved better; this was the price for living in the darkness. it was a part of her that had been there since she was a child, the ever-winding shadows curling along her skin proof of their persistence.

a haunting reminder that even if she did ever find light in her life, her shadow was always behind her. 

but that night between her and chuuya after dazai had left proved different. that had been a small moment. the blank space at the end of a page of a book, once a chapter has ended but there was still room left for things to be said before the next part began. since then, showing up at each other’s doors late at night had become a common occurrence.

they talked about small things and big things. of things that they may have hesitated to say, but said anyway. and there was never any judgement, only small brushes of the hands, and looks that said more than words. 

it confused her. she couldn’t understand why she kept telling him things about her, whether they be of the past or just something in the moment that was bothering her. it was as if his gaze simply drew the words from her mouth the moment it landed on her and he was waiting for her to speak. she often ignored the meaningless negative emotions and annoyances she felt throughout the day in the event that it caused her to develop a sense of self-pity. yet, the way he listened to her made her feel as if they weren’t measly problems—as if maybe it was okay to sometimes admit something was bothering her.

but it was uncomfortable to be placed in such a foreign situation where she was not only sharing her thoughts but also being validated for them. despite how much she disliked the idea of trying out something new, though, she couldn't bear to pull away from the boy who never failed to show up at her doorstep the next night no matter what they had discussed on the previous one. it was an intangible feeling that underlay what she understood to be a feeling of safety she associated with him, allowing her to trust him with her emotions. there was so much she couldn't understand about what she felt she almost wanted to tear her heart out and be done with all these complex paradoxes called emotions—

“whaddya thinking about?” olive green eyes came into view, a boy’s face inches away from her own.

she swatted his face away, the ruminating mood she'd drifted into ruined, “don’t worry about it.”

he huffed, falling back into step next to her before she heard the faint sound of his teeth chattering. he crossed his arms around his body while turning his head to look at their surroundings, unable to stay focused on the task in front of them for longer than a second. “it’s cold, are we almost there?”

“it’s just up ahead. you’ll be fine as long as you don’t make snarky comments in front of the man we’re meeting, earnest,” she sighed, seeing her own breath appear in the cold air as she exhaled. working with earnest was like having a child of her own, which she didn’t say happily. she couldn’t tell if mori actually wanted her to train him or if he just needed a babysitter for the boy.

earnest was sweet, but as a new member who had come all the way from america, it was to be expected. he was reckless and naive, not quite yet understanding how the city of yokohama worked nor was he patient enough to wait to figure it out. he had worked for a criminal organization before, but his affiliation with them had ended with him in prison and then on the other side of the world. so maybe she couldn't be entirely angry at his immaturity; he simply didn't know any better, and perhaps that's why mori had placed him in her care. but that didn't mean she'd take pity on him just because he'd had a rough start—they all had.

they entered the building, shutting the door silently behind them. “they’re on the third floor,” he whispered from behind her.

“just as planned,” she responded, scanning their surroundings before taking another step forward. “nothing else?”

“nothing out of the ordinary so far,” he shook his head, eyes still closed with his palm pressed to the wall of the building. like her's along with many others, his ability had practically been made for criminal activities.

she lifted the silver briefcase in her hand higher, starting to climb up the flights of stairs that would bring them to the meeting spot. she hadn’t bothered to check what was inside (she sincerely hoped she wasn't wrong to trust that earnest had done the bare minimum of double checking the contents of the briefcase before showing up at her door like a puppy who'd just been told he was going for a walk— in which the only real difference in this situation was that he'd heard the word "job" instead of "walk" and it still elicited a reaction all the same) but whatever various objects were inside clinked quietly as they fell to one side of the case.

“this is so stupid,” she heard behind her, “exchanges are so–”

she hushed him, her free hand not holding the briefcase reaching back to where he was following close behind to swat at his face again. sometimes trade jobs were boring, yes, but sometimes they could get heated. his complaints could wait until after they had finished the transfer.

arriving at the third floor, only illuminated by the moonlight spilling through the windows on the side of the building, she waited for earnest to finish making it up the stairs before she turned the corner.

a table waited at the center of this hallway too, the blue shine of the moon outside framing it in a sort of spotlight. she placed the briefcase on the table with the handle and locks facing away from her, stepping back just as a stern-faced man stepped out from behind a wall near the table. his light brown hair reached just past his ears and was slicked back, framing an ordinary face. he was nothing special or crazy intimidating, he was most likely just a simple runner for his organization. what caught her off guard in the next moment was the accent he spoke with, saying something she didn't entirely catch. it was heavy and could barely be considered japanese, leaving her to wonder who'd let this poor man show up to an exchange with the port mafia all by himself when he could barely speak their language. but she couldn't say much with an american of her own standing a few feet away, so instead they nodded to each other and she waited half a beat before turning around. 

earnest continued to stand still, eyes on the man who had taken to opening the briefcase to examine what was inside. she brushed past him, giving him a look that told him to follow before walking back the way they came. 

he trailed behind her a few seconds later and they made their way down the first flight of stairs, not before he gave one last glance down the hallway they’d just came from. she looked back at him with a face of concern. “what’s the matter? you’re suddenly quiet and acting all paranoid. did you see a ghost?” it was a lighthearted tease, but she nonetheless paused at the beginning of the next flight of stairs to hear what he had to say.

“i… just thought i knew him,” earnest answered, no longer sounding bored or whiny.

she quirked a brow, “oh? from where?” she asked, turning back to face the last flight of stairs.

“hold on,” he grabbed her arm, placing his other hand on the wall and closing his eyes as he’d done when they’d first entered the building. “there’s someone waiting down there.” his eyes shot open, “we need to find another way out.”

for whom the bell tolls was an ability that allowed earnest to see the layout of any building he was in and single out the best places for ambushes within them. it was a double-edged sword, used both to his advantage and plotting where to sneak up on someone, and also to predict and detect if perhaps anyone was instead waiting to attack him from those same spots.

in the short time she had worked with earnest, it had proven quite useful. he’d been right every time he’d warned her or described a building, sometimes even predicting things that were more specific than she thought could be produced by his ability.  yet, she couldn’t help but question what he’d said, worried that perhaps his shakeup from the exchange minutes ago was influencing his decisions, “it’s just one person, why?”

he’d tugged her arm down a hallway to their left as if he knew this place like the back of his hand, yet they both knew it was his first time in here. but it was her’s, too, and all she could do was trust his guidance. “they’re planning to destroy the whole building– and everyone in it,” he answered, eyes wide and breathing uneven. his grip on her sleeve remaining tight, “there’s an open window this way, the fall won’t be detrimental, and i saw a manhole on the side of the building. we’ll take it–”

the hair stood up on the back of her neck as she felt a presence behind her. quickly pulling the pistol from a holster on the side of her hip, firing three shots in the direction of the feeling. 

earnest flinched at the sound, brows knit with raised anxiety and panic but her eyes were focused on the figure that stumbled out of the doorway where they’d been just been moments ago. while normally she would have stayed to take care of the assailant, she’d never seen earnest so scared and she could feel the unease, too. something wasn't normal about the situation. she should have noticed from the moment she'd saw the man who she'd left the briefcase with; his lack of speech and fluency gave it away; they had been fooled. whatever was in that briefcase hadn't mattered in the slightest. their true objective seemed to be taking the lives of her and the boy beside her.

she spun back around, this time being the one to grab onto earnest and pull him along as they started to run. the window he'd mentioned before was just ahead, the countless closed doors they passed becoming a blur as they sprinted down the hallway, trying to reach their exit. 

this was a building owned by the mafia– it’s why it had been chosen as the exchange point. how had nothing seemed to have been out of the ordinary if these people were somehow planning to destroy it? how had earnest not noticed anything from the start? the only reasonable explanation she could come up with was that it had to be an ability, and they needed to escape this building before even thinking of fighting back.

“[y/n]–”

“hold on,” she cut him off, hearing a shot from behind her, and the whirl of something pass by her ear, so close it grazed her cheek. she fired several more shots back in retaliation through gritted teeth, “we’re almost there.”

she let go of earnest’s hand to run forward, giving her time to check that nothing was waiting outside the window before she slipped out of it, earnest following quickly behind. she watched the window while earnest shakily stood back up from the fall. a dark figure look out the window down towards them, but they didn’t follow.

a hand tugged at her’s, “i think we should leave. it’s not a good idea to try to fight them,” earnest looked her straight in the eyes. he didn’t seem completely terrified anymore and she trusted his intuition after the trap he'd just saved both of them from.

“let’s go, then.”

earnest had been right to suggest for them to leave. the day after, the news blared with pictures of the building that looked alarmingly like the one they’d been in last night. in fact, it was the one they’d been in not even eight hours ago, and now it had vanished without a trace. there was no debris or ash left over; the building hadn’t been blown up or left behind any evidence of destruction, it'd simply disappeared. all the was left behind was the concrete base the property had been built upon as if the building had never existed in the first place. 

earnest found her in the morning, his skin pale and eyes bloodshot. “it’s the guild,” he stammered, “they’re…they’re here.”

she’d only heard of the american organization briefly, from reports and news articles she’d happen to glimpse by and from the stories earnest had told. it was the same group he’d originally come from, after all. “i believe you,” she spoke calmly, looking him in the eyes. “but why would they come here? what do we have that they can’t get in their own country?” she began to guide him down the hall away from her office. she had a feeling he already knew, but mori would want to hear earnest’s explanation if by some chance their boss hadn’t already predicted every outcome.

“it’s because of me, [y/n]-san. i– they framed me. they want this… book. and i helped them– and then they got me arrested once they were done with me. i–”

“earnest, calm down.” his head shot up at the sound his name coming from her mouth, and something in her clicked when she saw the look on his face. she stopped walking, and he followed suit, “don’t do it. you wouldn’t be able to handle them all on your own.” unlike yesterday, his eyes weren’t wide with fear for his safety nor were they lively and upbeat as they were normally. they were instead filled with anger and vengeance.

“they threw me into jail,” he tried to argue, “they came here knowing i was here, too. they’re here to finish what they started with me [y/n]-san. i won’t let them.”

“you won’t survive,” she shook her head. “if you didn’t want to fight even just one of them yesterday, how do you plan to take them all on? come on, we’re going to see mori-san. you’re not the only one with grudges, earnest. the guild tried to kill us and destroyed one of our buildings. the mafia won't let them get away with something like that. wait for a minute, see what both sides plan to do next, and you can fight when you’re more in control of your emotions.”

the fire that had sparked in his eyes seemed to slowly go out as he looked towards the floor. “you’re right,” he took a step back from her.

she hadn’t thought she was speaking harshly too him; he’d endured much worse than her chastising his recklessness this time around, yet she must have struck a nerve if he’d switched up this quickly. “earnest, please.”

“no…you’re right. I just need to think about this,” he said, refusing to look back at her. he was starting to remind her of someone she’d know years ago who’d been too desperate as well. he'd been too impatient to reach for the stars to wait for the right timing, and she knew how that story had ended. she had ended it. subconsciously, her nails were digging into her palms as her hands clenched into fists. she held herself back from saying anything else, knowing it wouldn't help. what he needed now was time. she needed to be patient, and to keep an eye out for him, to make sure he didn’t slip through her fingers the way he had all that time ago.

“think about it,” she said, voice barely above a whisper, and her eyes shut tight as if just continuing to stand there pained her. and it did, a little bit. “and please…just tell me if you go, okay?”

when she opened her eyes again, he was already gone.

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extras <3

i'm so sorry i actually lowk don't like when ocs suddenly appear in x reader works I DO NOT CLAIM EARNEST HEMMINGWAY AS AN OC MAKING HIM A CHARACTER WAS THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE BUT NO CANON CHARACTER IN BSD FIT THE ROLE I NEED HIM TO PLAY

never really thought there'd come a day where i was arguing about disowning an earnest hemmingway oc but here i am

don't come at me for anything regarding earnest hemmingway I don't know anything

also i'm so sorry if any lyrical translations are incorrect </3 I am trying my hardest between reddit posts and lyric websites to find correct translations for songs in languages I'm not fluent in but if anyone who knows better than me a better translation do not be afraid to yell at me and let me know :3

thank you for reading!! happy new year <3

taglist: @kameyyy @miiyas @saoirseyun @phoenix-eclipses @writingandmusing @strawberryuri @viovya (form to be added to taglist! <3)

[flamemothers]

am i the only one really pissed off with the episode title "the queen who ever was"???

it started as an insult to rhaenys as she was denied her birthright but she still claimed the name like a boss.

that name is the closest thing she's got to being called queen. there are a lot of names they could have chosen for rhaenyra (what happened to dragon queen??? and don't even get me started when they decided to call aegon ii the realm's delight) and the best they could come up with is reusing rhaenys' and removing just one letter??? how original

oh rhaenys my love the writers keep on desecrating you even in death

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Look what we've become.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[icewindandboringhorror]

boy in silly sitting positions compilation

[taegularities]

some men are textbook villains fr

[widowshill]

VAMP ROGER AU QUESTION! how would he and barnabas interact together (if they ever interact)? :3 💜

tagging @tortoisesshells because she's my co-conspirator <3

excellent question! this family and their sharp-toothed men will be the death of ... well, several community members of Collinsport, i suppose.

to start — Barnabas gets out of the box slightly differently than in canon, which colors his relationship to Roger and the rest of the household. Roger kills Willie after his attempted assault on Carolyn and Vicki (who is, by that point, his wife); Willie's mysterious disappearance and Roger's suspected involvement makes Jason that much more panicked, desperate, and correspondingly aggressive. Liz goes searching for the lost family jewels in a last-ditch attempt to buy Jason off, and, inadvertently, lets their ancient family sin out of the tomb.

ergo she's made Barnabas' thrall instead of Willie, but this goes unnoticed for a while — even though her brother would, in theory, recognize the signs, and his suspicions are raised, but she's already acting so much unlike herself with Jason around that he doesn't suspect anyone else of doing her harm. yet.

at the start, he and Barnabas get along very well, even before they discover their shared affliction: they're both relatively sophisticated, well-traveled, intelligent people, and for all that Roger decries Liz's emphasis on the Collins name, he leans towards familial connections instinctively (Roger hasn't got much in the way of friends outside of the house even in canon, and he's even more isolated as a vampire).

after he finds out Barnabas is also a vampire, things get a little more complicated, but overall, they're still friendly. Roger doesn't have much sympathy for Barnabas' relentless self-pity and decrying his doomed fate to live as a monster, because Roger on the whole enjoys his vampirism and has made a decent un-life for himself out of it (thanks in no small part to Vicki). but having someone like him around is a comfort in ways he wouldn't have expected, he's no longer solitary or uniquely monstrous out of the Collins family, he has someone else around through the night, and someone who understands the sufferings of bloodthirst and being shut out of the sun.

furthermore, Roger's very much interested in his family history and stories of the past, the building of Collinwood, Jeremiah's ships – and Barnabas was there. there's potential for some very interesting conversations about the past, and the arc of the Collins family history to the present, not to mention literature, travel, fashion, politics and the rest. Roger's his cousin's mirror in modernity in many ways, and that's something potentially interesting to explore: the world changes around them, but Collinses do not.

as an aside, they both have a funny sort of relationship to Burke. Barnabas hates him for his resemblance to Jeremiah and envies his friendship with Vicki and thinks he's crude, and Roger ... well. it's complicated. it's closer to antagonism than not, and Burke has tried to kill him once in this au, and Roger resents his flirting with Vicki, but then there's everything else with their past. so I don't think Barnabas' treatment of him would sit particularly well with Roger, he'd take the attitude of hey, only I can be a dick to Burke >:(

the definite fracture point is Barnabas imprinting on Vicki. Roger's already jealous and possessive by nature, and it's amplified by the supernatural nature of his relationship to Vicki (being closer, bodily and mentally; being necessary to each other; being, quite literally, sustenance) so he's already a little on edge when Barnabas starts paying attention to her, giving her presents, and appreciating the scenery — Barnabas doesn't, exactly, tend to have much in the way of moral inclination to leaving women alone when they have prior engagements, but it's fair to point out the irony of everything Roger was doing with his bloodbag governess when he was still very much a married man.

anyway: Roger finds foreign bite marks on his wife's neck, and he's understandably immensely upset by this. partially out of territorial sentiment, but he also knows Vicki, and he knows that she wouldn't have invited another vampire willingly — which means that she was forced, or hypnotized, or attacked in secret, and there's only the one potential suspect. this is already enough to lose his good will, but he might have been willing to let Barnabas go with a "hands off," had this discovery not lead to finding out what he'd also been doing to Liz. the combination of the two is unforgivable, and it's Barnabas' error to have made an enemy who is very personally aware of all his vampiric weaknesses, and Burke's already carved a stake.